


Broken

by obi_wan_addict



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Past Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:54:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29134410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obi_wan_addict/pseuds/obi_wan_addict
Summary: War causes even the greatest of Jedi to break down. Despite years of training to prevent  emotions from leading your actions, everyone has a breaking point and needs support to keep going. Day after day of watching men, good men, die would haunt anyone, especially those who put each of those deaths on their own consciousness.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze
Kudos: 25





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this is my second fic. I did not expect people to actually like the last one lmao. I couldn't convince myself to read it over so sorry if it has a lot of mistakes!! In this one, the reader and Obi-Wan aren't "together" but they definitely have feelings for each other, its just bad timing. As always please let me know how I can improve and I hope its okay.

War causes even the greatest of Jedi to break down. Despite years of training to prevent emotions from leading your actions, everyone has a breaking point and needs support to keep going. Day after day of watching men, good men, die would haunt anyone, especially those who put each of those deaths on their own consciousness. 

After the takeover of Mandalore, Obi-Wan worked harder than ever before. He would go on mission after mission, not stopping for breaks unless you or Anakin forced him to. You knew about Duchess Satine’s death and how close she and Obi-Wan were, but you didn’t realize that his reaction would be so severe. Once he gave all the information to the Council after his return, he refused to talk about what unfolded on Mandalore, no matter how hard you pushed. 

After a while, you gave up on trying to get Obi-Wan to talk and just let him slowly try to drown himself in fighting. Of course, both you and Anakin still worried about his well being, but you also knew it was fruitless trying to argue with the stubborn man. 

Seven weeks after Satine’s death, Obi-Wan finally ran out of missions to go on and was back in the Jedi Temple. Happy that he is finally able to fully rest, you decide that you will see how he is when you cross paths with him. Your day was fairly normal: you taught the younglings, trained with Yoda, meditated, and read in the Jedi Archives. You still hadn’t run into Obi-Wan, which wasn’t too surprising considering how large the Jedi Temple actually was. It was becoming quite late so you go up to your chambers and prepare to go to sleep, with the intentions of seeking out Obi-Wan tomorrow. 

Right as you are about to start your night meditation, you hear a soft knock on your door. You open it to find exactly the man you were hoping to see. Obi-Wan stands there, still in his robes, despite the hour and looks absolutely wrecked. His eyes are red and puffy and his hair is askew, as if someone has been running their hand through it. Not used to seeing the usually extremely put together man like this, you stand there for a second, completely in shock. Before you even register what is happening, Obi-Wan rushes the doorway and grabs your stiff body into a bone-crushing hug. You quickly close the door and try to make sense of what is going on. 

“Obi-Wan, what wrong!?” You say, alarmed at his sudden display of affection. 

His face buries into your neck and you feel his beard scratching your collarbones. You hear him saying something but it is too muffled to hear, so you ask him to repeat himself. 

You feel him pull away slightly and whimper out, “I didn’t save her.” 

You feel your heart shatter from just how tiny and defeated his voice sounds. The past few weeks must have finally caught up to him and he no longer has anything to distract himself from truly feeling the aftermath. You guide him over to the bed where you sit him down and wait for him to elaborate.

“I-I watched her die, right in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” He continues, his eyes slowly starting to well up with tears as they stare blankly at the wall.  
You sit down next to him and hold both his hands in your own.

“Obi-Wan,” you say trying to get his attention, but ultimately failing. You gently grab his chin and move his head to face you. 

“Obi-Wan, you couldn’t have stopped it, no one could have stopped her from dying.” you reason with him, trying to stop his self-loathing thoughts.

His lip trembles and he puts his face into his hands and rests them on his knees. You go to wrap your arms around him, like before, but he stiffens up and moves away. Confused, you try to reach out to him through the force. Your force signature wraps around his own, a silent ask to be let in, but you are met with a barrier. It’s as if he built a metal wall between you and what he is truly feeling. 

You stand up and kneel in front of him. You reach up and touch his arms, which are still holding up his head, and try to soothe them. You lightly caress them and see if you can coax his head away from his hands. Suddenly, after a couple of minutes, you feel him start to relax and let you pull his hands away from his face.

“Let me in,” you plead, just wanting to share the burden of his pain. 

His head begins to shake, but you quickly shut down his rejection by pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. His eyes widen, not used to the open affection and the same hand comes to hold your cheek. His eyes search yours and you give him a small nod in encouragement. Again, you reach out a tendril of your force-signature to envelope his own, and this time the wall easily is broken down. Once inside, an onslaught of pent up emotions hit you at once. 

You feel everything: all the hate, sadness, grief. You see him reliving the moment that Satine reaches out for him as the Darksaber impales her. You see him holding her, leaning his head into her hand placed on his cheek. You hear her choked last words, “Remember my dear Obi-Wan, I loved you always... I always will.” You see him pushing himself to the limit during every mission, skipping sleep and pushing down his tears. You release yourself from the pain of it all and look back up at him, tears welling up in your own eyes.

“Oh Obi-Wan,” you sigh, standing up and guiding him to your bed. You lay him down, hoping he will get some sleep. You sit beside him and begin to caress his hair. 

“It wasn’t your fault,”

“If I never defeated Maul the first time, she would still be alive,” he argues.

“If you didn’t defeat the Maul the first time, thousands of more people would be dead, including you.” you reasoned, trying to let me see from a different perspective. 

His eyes stare at the ceiling and you get up to get him water. As you stand up, his hands grab your arms. 

“Please stay,” he pleads, his eyes looking more lost than you have ever seen from him. 

You silently oblige, and crawl into the bed next to him. He faces you and wraps his arms around your upper half, nuzzling his face into your neck. 

“I saw the life leave her eyes.” he mumbles and you feel warm tears on your shoulder, but all you can focus on is Obi-Wan wrapped around you. 

“I know Obi-Wan, I know” you said, trying to calm him with your own force-signature. 

You feel him accept your presence and his body slowly relaxes against your own. Knowing how closed off Obi-Wan can be, you feel a small bit of pride that he confided in you when he was overwhelmed and feeling broken.

You didn’t get much sleep that night, considering Obi-Wan was still plagued with nightmares regarding that day, but it was all worth it if it meant you could help him glue back together the pieces.


End file.
